Choice
by Kinasha15
Summary: TLJ SPOILERS Rey wakes up before Ben, following their battle of wills. She has a choice to make. One shot


A sharp gasp broke the silence as two light brown orbs shot open before their owner launched herself to a seated position. A burning in her shoulder demanded the young woman's attention, thankfully it wasn't too bad. Although relief was short lived as Rey noticed the silver saber broken on the ground.

Gathering her strength she pushed through the weariness holding her down and moved to collect the broken thing. It seemed darker to her, and it worried her greatly. This small thing saved her countless times, and here it was broken just like her hope for Ben was broken.

Thinking of the tormented man she sought him out trying to find him amoung the fire and death that surrounded them. Upon finding him sprawled on the floor a weight gripped her throat, fear clawing it's way into her. Quickly, she ran and fell to his side skidding the rest of the way there in an ungraceful fashion. She thrust a hand before his mouth and only relaxed when she felt the steady ebb and flow of his breathing on her fingers. Their bond could easily tell her he was alive, but she had to check, she just had to.

Fears assuaged, for now. Rey found herself kneeling beside Ben, watching over his unconscious form. All the while a war raged, her friends in danger, a ship burned, and death surrounded her. But still, she found peace in this moment. Gently, she moved a shaking hand to push aside his dark curls that hid the scared side of his face. When her calloused hand brushed across his cheek she was shocked at how soft it was, even with the scar. "Ben" she whispered wondering if he would wake. A part of her wished he would so she could talk with him reason with him, or scream at him for all the pain he caused her with his choice.

Rejection stung, failure burned, but loneliness near crippled her. He wouldn't come. Ben, still wanted to be Kylo Ren. He still wanted power. Somber brown eyes looked at his resting face, which usually was dominated by his anger or his self-loathing in his waking hours. But now she saw rest and quiet, and Rey felt tormented by visions of the future she saw before. How had it gone so wrong? But had it really? He saved her, he defied his Master and saved her. She could feel hope beginning to lay down its roots, it wouldn't bloom yet but the seed was planted. The roots growing.

A scowl marred her features because he wouldn't come. He killed Snoke but still, he wouldn't come. That anger fed her impulsive nature. There an anxious energy burned in her bones demanding action. The young force user thought of her options. _'He's unconscious.'_ she mused to herself _'I could take him.'_ Moving him wouldn't be an issue not with her connection to the Force as strong as it was. She could take him, keep him with her. Take him away from this place of death, anger, and horror. She could show him a better place where he would feel at peace, that he belonged. He could join herself and his Mother in their crusade and finally belong, an end to his suffering. Rey could taste the fantasy, but she knew it was a fantasy. He'd run. Ben would leave again.

So her plan changed. She could take him to Ach-To or somewhere else far from the First Order or the Resistance. They could both forget this war, the galaxy, and heal. Thinking on this she let the peace of that vision wash over her. Surviving together, working together, exploring the Force together. Talking late into the night as they had done before. A broken smile graced her features as she imagined them doing something as simple as building a fire together and arguing on the best way to achieve their goal. But that wouldn't work, she couldn't let her friends die. She may have been nothing before but that wasn't the case anymore. Finn needed her, Poe, Chewy, Bb8, General Organa, the Resistance, Master Luke. For once Rey wished she could be nothing again, so she could take him away turn her back on all this and leave with Ben. Rey let a few silent tears fall at this impasse before them. She would never join the First Order, he would never join the Resistance, and she couldn't turn her back on those she had connections with.

Her tanned calloused hand slid from it's resting place on his scarred cheek. They left their scars on each other. She with a lightsaber and him with his words. "But not to me" echoed in her mind and tempting her to join him. To throw away those connections. But that wasn't her, she wasn't built to do that. He still clung to power just as she clung to connections. Her gaze shifted to the broken saber in her lap. "We'll heal Ben, we will fix this. Just not now." her voice just above a whisper. Looking to his own black saber she had the thought of taking it or destroying it, to do something with this anger inside her. But she let the anger pass over her like a sandstorm, he'd been betrayed so many times. And so had she, two sides of the same coin. If she could help it the next betrayal would not come from her.

Echoing voices announced that this moment was coming to its end. Rey looked down to his hand and wrapped it in her own. "I want to help you, but it has to be your choice." She bent her head and a single tear fell on their joined hands. The voices were getting closer _'Time to go'_ she thought to herself before she gave a gentle squeeze to his hand. "I'll see you soon Ben" she whispered before releasing his hand and making her escape. While she snuck her way out of the ship and back to the Falcon she held her broken saber close to her wishing that she didn't feel just as broken leaving Ben behind.

When Rey finally made it to the Millennium Falcon she quickly stashed the broken saber in a secure spot. Along with her saber, she locked away the pain, the hurt, the anger, and the fear. She instead dedicated herself solely to the next move. But hope stayed with her stubbornly refusing to let go, hoping that they would make the right choice someday.

an: An idea that wouldn't leave me alone, Rey clearly woke up first.

What did she do? Well, that's up to us to theorize, but this is my answer to that question.


End file.
